Exceed <your> Expectations on How to Have Successful Performance Reviews
A guide to set a sustainable and low stress approach to performance review meetings
If you find yourself in a situation where you're overworking to meet your goals but don't have enough time to properly write your own performance document, and you end up sending feedback forms to colleagues at the last minute, it's time to take a step back. Time to change your approach. Otherwise, in a few years you'll likely experience burnout and develop resentment toward your manager and company for not recognising your efforts and being unfair to you. One thing leads to another, you end up leaving the company, and now no one is happy — you're heartbroken, tired and angry, and the company loses a good employee. It's a lose-lose.
Instead of going down that road, commit to spending only 3% of your work time prioritising yourself — showcase your hard work and reflect on whether you’re heading in the right direction in your career. It’s just one hour per week that can create a win-win situation for both you and your company.
Don’t be a mind-reader, talk to your manager
It is important to understand how your performance appears from your manager's perspective and what is expected to be a high performer or someone ready for the next level. There is no single definition of success, and since we are not mind readers, until you have an honest and open conversation with your manager, you are essentially blindfolded.
One caveat: you should approach that conversation with the intention to listen and understand, rather than to propose counterarguments to their feedback. You can initiate this dialogue during your official performance review, or even better, by simply requesting a meeting.
Tell them that one of your goals this year is to become a high performer (or to advance to the next level for more responsibilities) and ask for their guidance on areas you should focus on. It's important to foster a partnership dialogue rather than creating a "you versus the manager" conflict.
If you have regular and frequent meetings with your manager, that's even better. You can begin by seeking guidance and feedback to identify areas for improvement. Over time, you can become more open about your goals, asking for their assistance in becoming a high performer or advancing in seniority, and soliciting their input on areas for improvement.
It may turn out that you are already meeting your manager's expectations, but they are unaware of it. In that case, you need to work on making your work more visible (though not through counterarguments during your meetings). Alternatively, you may realize that you've been focusing on the wrong things or overlooking certain aspects. Armed with this knowledge, you can seek out relevant opportunities.
It's important to acknowledge that not all managers are competent or helpful. If you feel that your manager is not being honest or supportive despite your efforts to collaborate, there may come a point where you need to consider changing teams or companies instead of keep trying. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things simply don't work out. While it's crucial to give our best, it's equally important to recognise when to stop trying.
Gather feedback all year around, not just one week
Traditional "feedback" can often be draining for both the giver and the receiver. In the context of a performance review, it is typically too structured. It is difficult for the giver to be candid and for the receiver not to take it personally, especially since negative feedback during the review period can naturally impact one's raise or promotion prospects. But, without constructive criticism, how could you know what areas to focus on for improvement?
Incorporating feedback into our daily routines is far more effective. Let's explore two types of feedback and how we can approach them.
Positive feedback:
Have you ever helped someone with a task and received a message expressing genuine gratitude for your assistance, or even better, detailing how your help positively impacted their task? We're not talking about the standard "thank you," but the kind of message that brings a big smile to your face when you read it. Hold onto those! So much valuable feedback goes unnoticed, which is unfortunate.
Start a "brag document" for yourself — you can name it whatever you like since it's for your eyes only, from a simple "Positive feedback" to a more empowering "Good job, X!" document. Just create it. Whenever you receive those "big-smile" messages, copy them or take a screenshot and paste them into your brag document. Make it a habit. In addition to accumulating plenty of positive examples for your performance review, you'll also find that it lifts your mood. Just the simple act of taking a moment to save positive comments about yourself can make significant improvements to your emotional well-being.
Constructive feedback:
It's really challenging to receive information on what you can improve or do differently when the whole company is sending feedback forms to each other simultaneously. When everyone is stressed about their own reviews, two things can happen:
Either people will be overly positive with their feedback, perhaps to avoid difficult conversations or to increase the likelihood of receiving positive feedback in return.
Or people will be toxic while thinking they're being candid, which isn't particularly helpful either.
Gather constructive feedback when no one is asking. You can do this randomly and periodically, by asking a different colleague or stakeholder every month what you can do better. Alternatively, after completing a task, ask for their opinion and what they think could have been improved. When you remove the stress of reviews, raises, and promotions from the equation, you'll receive genuine and valuable feedback to work on.
Know your market value
If you don’t have a toxic team or manager, it’s likely that you may not want to go out of your comfort zone with a new job. Perhaps your current job isn’t the best, but it’s not the worst either, so why not stay a few more years (which may turn into 10 years)? This is a familiar situation for most of us. The risk here is that in 5-10 years, you might realize that your peers in other companies are making a lot more money than you are. Then you book a meeting with your manager, feeling immense frustration, and ask for a market-level salary, which by that point may be 20% higher than your current salary. This is a recipe for losing out.
You don’t need to constantly interview with companies or change jobs, nor do you always need to be the highest paid or hold the most senior title. There are many factors besides salary and title that contribute to making a job “good” for you. However, you must ensure that you're not too far off from the market standard. The money you earn and the title you hold should feel fair relative to the value you provide. And yes, this means you need to stay informed about the external market. Occasionally engage with other companies, expand your network, meet with peers from different workplaces, and check online data. It's unrealistic to expect others to recognize your value when you yourself are unsure of it.
If you wait too long to request what is fair, the gap becomes too wide to bridge, and your manager's hands are tied. While a good manager can advocate for you and make adjustments, they often cannot secure a 20%+ increase or a two-level promotion, at least not in most companies. Unfortunately, many organisations are not structured in a way to retain their employees.That’s why people change jobs to reach market level salaries and often, the company that refuses to adjust a former employee’s salary ends up paying market rates to the new employee after the position remains open for 6 months. Yes, most companies are not rational.
Get yourself out of the performance wheel
The work culture is slowly evolving for the better. However, many of us are still conditioned to believe that we must constantly 'exceed expectations,' keep advancing in our careers, and never take a break. This conditioning may stem from our upbringing, parental influence, or traditional corporate culture. The reason is not as important as recognising its impact.
Being a high performer shouldn’t mean you have to “exceed expectations” in your manager’s eyes every time. Even high performers can have different waves in their career. This is healthy. Slowing down provides you with perspective, allowing you to see more clearly where you’re headed and what you need to focus on. It could also create space for you to excel in other aspects of your life outside of work.
Putting your work in the center and conditioning yourself to be the best at all times can lead to burnouts or job dissatisfaction. Once you reach a certain level, it is not realistic to exceed expectations every single time. If you build your whole job satisfaction on the raises and promotions, one day you might wake up and can’t remember the reason why you spent 30 years of your life building this career.
Be ambitious, be demanding, be bold but don’t let the “performance wheel” take the joy out of your life.